News?

Actual headline this morning:
"Cops: Suspected Illegals Plotted Kidnap of Texas Corn Dog Scion"

FOX news, always on the ball. This headline is good for a few reasons. First, its ridiculous - Corn Dog Scion? Is this the best story you've got this morning? Second, its all hearsay anyways. They aren't illegals, they're suspected illegals. And they didn't actually kidnap the C.D.S., they were only plotting to.

So for me, basically, this story could have read this: "Possible Illegal Immigrants Thought About Kidnapping Someone I Don't Give A Rat's Ass About."

In other news - I was trying to make up my own OnionNews-like headline this morning and this is what rolled off my tounge: "Area Man Has Second Thoughts About His Bologna Sandwich"